Sorry that he projected all of his shortcomings onto you. It's a self-protective lie so he doesn't hate himself consciously as much as he does sub-consciously. You nailed it in the end. You tried. You tried really hard. He didn't. And I agree, F**k his terms. He's not in control of you anymore...YOU are in control of you. Give yourself a hug from me. And when you're feeling all better and are ready, I'm sure you'll find a unicorn who truly is a unicorn.
P.S. I wonder how much experience your therapist has with addicts. Because that sounded off to me. And if you handle yourself IRL like you do in your posts, there is NO WAY IN H*LL that you are passive-aggressive.