Here's my take from the perspective of a long-term recovering alcoholic.
What I found acceptable in early sobriety hasn't necessarily remained the same through the years.
My boundaries change as I change.
Today I have no desire to interact with people who smoke dope. Early in sobriety? Yep. Now? Nope.
I've learned how to enjoy life and relax sans any mind-altering substances, including alcohol/pot, and I stick with like-minded folks.
It sounds to me like your wife is growing and changing in her recovery.
She's set a new boundary.
Perhaps you two are growing apart.
What do you think?