Here's a way to look at this recovery business that might help. It sure helped me in my early recovery from alcoholism.
When I first started drinking I was like a small new onion. And the longer I drank I kept putting on layers of skin on the onion, until by the time I got to recovery, I was a really big onion. Now what happens in recovery and happened for me, is by going to the meetings, working with a sponsor, and a therapist for ashort time, I slowly started to peel the 'layers' of the onion away.
As I did the peeling, there would be times when I would shut down, because what had just been revealed was so very painful. Then I would work through that and continue peeling.
At 3 years sober my AA sponsor strongly suggested Alanon and to get an Alanon sponsor. I did, and lo and behold some of the layers of onion I was peeling were layers of my being a really good codie in addition to be an alcoholic. lol
So for me, the analogy of 'peeling the onion' has worked very well for me, I hope it can help you also.
Love and hugs,