Tuffgirl

Hi SR friends,
Had an interesting talk with my therapist yesterday and I have been mulling it over all night. I told him about the most recent conversations with the RAH...who has again declared he is taking responsibility for himself and his choices, while subsequently blaming me for not being able to have any kind of a relationship with me (said all in the same sentence, no less, what a contradiction!). I told the therapist I had cut off any form of communication short of a face-to-face visit (which I can't control short of an RO)...blocked his numbers, re-routed his emails to the trash box, etc.

The therapist asked me if I "let the RAH know I was doing this". I said no. He asked me if I thought that was the right approach, and how would I feel if someone did that to me? Well, it has been done to me before so I know how it feels. But the point of this is to STOP COMMUNICATING. Why would I want to initiate more communication to let the RAH know I want to STOP COMMUNICATING? Therapist asked if I was trying to hurt the RAH as he was hurting me. I said no. It is me trying to stop hurting me. I can't seem to not get emotional when I get responses like I did on Monday - the quacking just sends me into an emotional tailspin. I am getting much better at not engaging further when the conversations take those turns, but I walk away feeling defeated and hopeless. Why put myself through that anymore? Now I know I am a volunteer in the process, and I want to stop volunteering.

So my question today is - how do you handle a situation like this? Do I exit this with grace (i.e. write him a nice email explaining we can't communicate for the time being?) or exit abruptly (i.e. let him figure it out himself when his calls don't ring through and his emails go unanswered?)