Old 06-22-2011, 07:26 AM
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stilllearning
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Join Date: Feb 2010
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OT - sort of but boy does this feel like dealing with an alcoholic

Hi folks,

Long story short but I work with an assistant who is renowned for being difficult. When under pressure she lashes out - but never to people who she considers to be her superiors.

I'm her superior - I'm one of four managers in a team that's 50 people total. I have an extremely responsible job. My big-big boss has been aware for some time that she's problematic and she has been counselled previously.

She ripped me a new one, for no reason, in March. We work in an open plan office and enough people heard that I got emails when I walked back to my desk checking if I was ok. She apologized later and I was frank with her that her behavior had been deeply upsetting and way out of line. Good resolution and ajbect apology on her part - felt great and I think I even posted about it on here.

The behaviours are back and she has spoken to me three times in two weeks in a manner that can best be described as demeaning. Today was the worst of the three and made her first swipe look like a walk in the park. I took it to HR and they're happy for me to undertake a formal complaints process.

They're also concerned for me because I got harrassed earlier this year by a contractor who spent all of one week with the company before being escorted out of the buidling. I spoke to HR about that one but chose not to formally complain - there were another, six, formal complaints about the guy but I was the only one he made physical contact with.

This assistant is a bully and her behaviour towards me, and others, has escalated. people walk on eggshells around her and she still snaps, regularly. It's just like dealing with an active A. I have no idea what or if she drinks and I don't care - the behaviours are unacceptable no matter what the reason.

I got home tonight and wrote down every incident that I think is reportable. There are four pages.

But I'm wary, really wary, about lodging an official complaint. I don't know why, exactly. I do know that I won't work in a place where I'm treated teh way I was today. I do know that I'm not able to deal with this myself anymore - it's beyond that.

Any advice? My company is great at dealing with this sory of stuff. If I need to learn from it or change my working style - the process will highlight that too. And I'm open to it. But the consequences for this woman could be harsh and boy, can she hold a grudge.

I'm sick of being a target for people with issues, that's for sure.

All feedback will be treasured - throw it at me, pros, cons, howmuch of this might be codie stuff - I'd love to hear it all.

Hugs,

SL.
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