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Old 06-22-2011, 03:51 AM
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sweetteewalls
Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: CA
Posts: 317
Surviving Early Recovery

I haven't been in here for awhile...lots has happened. My husband is in early recovery. He did an outpatient program in September and relapsed in February. So he went through the effots of trying to find an inpatient rehab but his insurance deems it not medically necessary so he can go, but we would have to pay out of pocket which we cannot afford. He went through some testing and because he has quit on his own previously and he is not currently drinking they just refer him to an alcohol counselor and AA which he has been doing for the past month and a half. I am proud of him. I am doing my own work to heal. I am going to Alanon and reading a lot of books recommended by my own individual counselor. I am growing my business and going back to school next month so I'm excited. However the one thing I am struggling with is there is a disconnectedness right now between he and I. He keeps his email and phone records open to me as a starting point for rebuilding trust and to be honest I haven't even checked it lately because I am focusing on my own recovery. He has tried to explain that he is 34 and drinking over half his life and basically learning to live all over again. He doesn't share all that happens in his sessions and he said his counselor actually said not to just yet because it is still early. He explains to me he feels nothing and its not me but I hate feeling numb! I know he loves me but this transition period hurts. Before he was loving and attentive and now it seems like he is just a shell. His sobriety is first right now because I know neither of us can be functional in a coupkuple until we are healed as individuals but it hurts to lie in bed next to someone who doesn't show his feelings, etc...I know he has a disease and I wouldn't leave him if he had any other disease and was seeking treatment which he is. How do I get through this time?
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