If I file, he can remain forever the victim of that big mean Tuffgirl who moved out(gasp) and then proceeded to divorce him (double gasp).
Get out of his head. He's going to do and be whatever he part he wants to write into the script of his life for himself. Probably the Poor Innocent Victim part.
So what?
That's not reality. That's his script. The one he writes for his life so that he can justify doing whatever it is he wants to do. He might not be drinking, but he sure as hell isn't recovered if he's blaming you for everything and refusing to take responsibility.
So that's him. Forget him, as CeeLo Green would say.
What about you? You want to move forward. You want to get on with your life. So file. Boom! Be done with him, be done with it. Just because filing might play right into what he wants doesn't mean it's the wrong thing. Be careful that you don't avoid doing something you really want to do just because it might be what he wants you to do, too.
Get out of his head. Get him out of your head. Like someone here said to me -- "pretend he's dead, that should do it!" (although if he were dead you wouldn't have to file, there is that...). What action would you take if you weren't thinking about how HE would react to it?
Sometimes, the best way to get out of a power struggle is to let go.