Welcome!
You're doing a good job.
You have a right to not like the behaviors.
You didn't cause her drinking. Nor can you cure it or control it.
Your anger can be helpful to instigate change in you.
Just know, ultimately, all you can do is make choices for you.
She wants to be who she wants to be.
You have a right to want what you want.
Those two things might be incompatible.
It IS hard to know they don't mean it and can't control it themselves!
I did a lot of, "It's my job to love him and support him through thick and thin!"
But, I was overlooking taking care of me.
He was not doing that in this regard. He was lying and hiding his drinking.
When I talked to him about it, he turned into a big jerk.
That's below my bottom line, regardless of anything else.
Then, I had to trust the universe that he would get taken care of if I wasn't doing it.
So, I started taking care of me!
First step, read a ton here.
Next, see if you can articulate what you are willing to accept and what is your bottom line.
If you then realize her behaviors are not acceptable (below the bottom line for you), how can you make choices to minimize her impacts on you?
How can avoid setting yourself up for situations where she negatively impacts you?
It may be you can't avoid the affects of her drinking, but one step at a time.
Share with us as much as you feel comfortable.
Also, check out Codependent No More by Melody Beattie.
All very helpful.
Welcome again,
fp