Old 06-20-2011, 03:45 PM
  # 27 (permalink)  
Tuffgirl
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Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Anchorage, Alaska
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Originally Posted by LexieCat View Post
I don't know him, but I tend to doubt he deliberately "conned" you, knowing he had no intention of being the kind of partner you wanted. Alcoholics are great for having the best of intentions, but sorely lacking in the ability to follow through.

You are accusing him of being a martyr, and you may well be right, but what about you? Are you just a passive victim, yourself? You want him to file, so you can justly be perceived to be the abandoned one? Not trying to be harsh or mean, but sometimes we have to look at our own role in these situations.

Does it really matter so much who let down whom? He is not someone you want to spend your life with. If, if, if it were different, well, then, it would be different. We wouldn't be having this discussion. It is what it is.

It seems to me that for you to wait him out is cutting off your own nose to spite your face. The longer you stay in this situation, the more bitter you will become. Not a pleasant way to start off a new life.

Personally, I would sooner be the person who takes action than the one who is "done to." If all you are holding out for is on general principle, I think you are only hurting yourself.
Thanks Lexie. Harsh yes, mean no. I understand what you are saying. Good points to make! I can do harsh, no worries.

I think for me, it would be one act of personal responsibility on his part. Just one. Show me just one, even if it is filing the papers. Just one admittance that you have a responsibility to me and this marriage. Maybe then I could find a shred of respect.
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