Originally Posted by
Tuffgirl 
I want to move forward into the next exciting adventure in my life. I don't feel I can do this with that darn marriage certificate in the way. I want to uphold my values, and if I am married how can I pursue new relationships and new activities? It just doesn't feel right. I feel stuck.
(Do you realize the tone of the post quoted above, seems to have already changed from your initial post? - Just an observation, really, not a question.)
Bingo. I didn't want any new relationships (still don't, no where near ready), but I do want to get on with
my life. I simply could not do that tied up with XAH and his twisted problems. When I realized that I wanted my life back, I was ready to take the next step to start reclaiming it.
If I file, he can remain forever the victim of that big mean Tuffgirl who moved out(gasp) and then proceeded to divorce him (double gasp). Ohh the drama. Blech.
When I got to the point where I knew what I wanted and needed in a relationship and knew that he could not provide it or meet me part way to achieve that, I also decided that I didn't give a rat's -ss if he climbed up on the pyre and lit it himself or not. Fairly easy to say from this side; it took a lot of work to get to that point from the other side.
