I did go no contact - blocked him from emailing, texting, or calling me. His last response was overly mean and hostile. I don't like this man at all, and I am sick of him trying to crap on my serenity.
It just feels - well - unfair that I have to be the one to file for divorce when I was the one showing up for the marriage and I am the one, standing here waiting for an opportunity to see if its workable. Yet, it is beginning to feel unfair to "wait" for something that I see absolutely no signs of getting anytime soon...a grown up ready to be responsible.
My Al-Anon fellows try to talk me into waiting for one whole year. But really, is there any significant change in the next 5 months, considering not much has changed in the previous 7 months? Yeah, he's not drinking but I don't see much else going on.
I want to move forward into the next exciting adventure in my life. I don't feel I can do this with that darn marriage certificate in the way. I want to uphold my values, and if I am married how can I pursue new relationships and new activities? It just doesn't feel right. I feel stuck.