My xah has been in and out of treatment and detoxes and ER's over the last couple of years. He got out of his most recent, and longest, inpatient treatment and decided to go stay with his brother. He'd been sober for about 3 months at that time. His brother is an alcoholic. He was there a few days and we met for a child function and he looked at me and said "Blah blah blah...He's a mess. I just want to tell him xyz. Do you know what it is like living with an alcoholic like that?"
I didn't say one word. I had already let go. I have accepted him for who he is (but finally understand that doesn't equal excepting who he is as my husband) and of course this is very freeing and monumental for me but the unexpected gift of that is I once again have compassion for a man that I once loved and then hated, resented, and despised for a very long time. That statement didn't cause a well spring of anger or indignation but mostly just sadness and a little disbelief. It will not frustrate you when it no longer matters 'to your life'. Your life doesn't change based on his denial or awareness. You'll get there. Keep focusing on your life and yourself. I wish I had some words of wisdom to highlight the path.