Hi, and welcome,
Sorry you're having to deal with this stuff. We all totally get what you're dealing with.
My best suggestions, for starters, is to learn a few things about alcoholism--Two good reads are "Under the Influence"--You can read excerpts
here, and AA's Big Book, an online version of which is
here.
I think it's great you are planning to attend Al-Anon. You will get some good tools to help make your life calmer and better so you can make good decisions about your future, regardless of whether your wife chooses recovery.
Does she even seem to think she has a problem?