Hello all,
Well I just got done getting into an argument with my AW; she could tell I was pissed, so I told her that I was fed up with things and I was attending an Al-Anon meeting on Thursday and no longer want alcohol in the house. I told her she has been selfish with her emotions and I couldn't stand the up and down emotions. She had the kids in the car and the conversation ended with her saying "if you are so unhappy with me why don't you leave?" Not sure what to do at this point, figured posting here would be a good start. And like many other people on here this wasn't our first argument about alcohol. Sometimes the arguments are not directly about alcohol but can be tied back to it in some way.
Ok, so for a little history. My AW and I have been married for three months and have 50/50 custody of our three kids, I have two from a previous marriage and she has one. I'm not going to lie and say I didn't know there was a problem before we got married but as I have heard others say on here I thought things would get better, I don't know why I was fooling myself. Too be honest these last three months have been extremely difficult and has brought me to the breaking point. When she is not drinking she is the best. However when she drinks all that goes out the window and its not just when she is drunk. She deals with a lot of guilt from drinking so she shuts herself off emotionally, that's the hardest part. Then she feels bad emotionally so she drinks bury the pain.
It seems like a lot of important events since we have got married have been marred one way or another by drinking, including are honeymoon. I'm not totally innocent in things either. Before we met I hardly drank. My dad had a drinking problem growing up and I saw signs in high school so I stopped in my early 20's. Fast forward 13 years and now I find myself drinking 2-3 times a week. Some days I will drink to feel emotionally close to her, man that sounds bad. She will be down and want to have a couple of drinks with me and watch tv. I feel so emotionally distant from her that its all I can do to be close. Now, I'm fed up with it and feel so much guilt for contributing to things. I really don't know what to do at this point and feel helpless. Thanks to all who read this!