Sheneedshelp - I know these posts seem harsh -- they are! But these are the voices of EXPERIENCE. You have admitted that you have no experience in this arena, so you have come here for help.
God, I know how painful and scary this is! I am feeling it myself right now -- my 17 y.o. daughter is in a 6 month treatment program for her mental illness and most recently she has added drug abuse to her issues. I never had to worry about drugs with her...but I do now. I wasted NO time -- I kicked her out of the house and gave her the option of treatment or the streets. She chose treatment. When she is discharged at Christmas (!) I will have a *zero* tolerance policy and she will have to earn back all privileges.
Do you think I *want* to do these things? Do you think I'm just a hard-ass b*tch? No, my friend. I am a mother with all of the protective instincts that you have. But I have been thru this with my son...giving him chance after chance after chance and all he did was continue to spiral downward. The ONLY thing that turned him around was when we cut him off completely.
You must work on ACCEPTANCE that your daughter is no different than any of our children. You must ACCEPT that you will have to do this very hard thing. It will bring you to your knees, trust me on that, but if you love her I guarantee it is the only thing that works.
I so wish it were different. But it's not.
We are all here to support you.