I completely agree with gettingby, I have been doing the same thing, working the program with one eye on him, hoping some miracle would happen and he would see how I was changing and want some for himself, then I realized I was not working the steps at all because I was skipping the 3rd where I am suppose to turn it over to higher power. I just have to learn to work on me that is the main part I needed to learn anyway that the only person I have the ability to change is myself. And don't really need him to acknowledge, others in my life that don't even know I attend Al-Anon have commented on seeing a difference in me in the way I deal with things and that is enough. Yes I hope he will see the light and want to get into recovery, he did just inform me that he thought he needs to see a therapist to help him work though some issues he has, but even if he don't I should never let that come between me and my recovery.
This board has been such a God send for me, sometimes when I am at my breaking point I come here and just read. And somehow knowing I am not alone makes it easier for me to step back and readjust where it is needed to stay on my side of the street. Thanks to all.