One Uping It
when my RAH came back after a "relapse" that took him across the states, we agreed to sobriety and separate accounts. I have been reading on here and detaching with love since i have smelled alcohol on his breathe twice and an admitted alcohol filled weekend about a month ago with no nagging drama from me. I don't snoop on his phone, bills, mail, etc. He pretty much goes and comes as he pleases. We still enjoyed hanging together, movies and going places.
Recently, it seems as tho he has taken my detach behavior as rejection and is withdrawing from me. No longer watching movies together or going places. He is bringing his 22 year old son (RAH) to live with us without a discussion. He also has added a prior drinking female to his Facebook list which sounds like trouble to me. He says i havent been to Alanon and that i wont have him. huh? and that chick on FB has went too? I feel like rushing to Alanon but it could be just another hoop he wants me to jump in and then it will be another one.
Has my detachment backfired? would rescuing him out of drinking debt and falling on the floor like a doormat would have made it better?