Welcome, skippernlilg.
this is good that you are trying to discern what is best to do.
i think out of 100 of "us" polled, 85 would tell you to stay away, maybe not in so many words.
the feeling to reach out, to have closure, to say good-bye, can be overwhelming.
i am a bit of a romantic - a real sap actually.
i slowly got myself out of the relationship with mine. i knew he was somewhat fragile, and i wanted to feel good about easing him out of my life, and him out of mine. truth be told, i was pretty hooked on him and the drama and the false hopes of things turning around for happily-ever-after.
but for me, it worked best that way. it took a few months.
after he had moved out, after we were having virtually no relationship, there was a family wedding (his) in my (literally) backyard. i agreed to meet him, be his date for the evening. something that i had dreamed about - dancing to a love song with this man that i loved so deeply - became a reality that night, and we ended the dance with a gentle and loving kiss. we left and went our separate ways and i have seen him once since then - to get his things out of my house the day i sold it and moved out.
it was really the perfect ending to a very non-perfect love story.
we can believe what we need to, and want to.
for me, i really never made him the evil one. we loved one another, but he wasn't healthy enough for me, and i simply couldn't do it anymore. i think he understood that. we parted as two mismatched lovers who cared very much for one another.
whatever you decide will be the right decision.
peace...