Agreed. The biggest changes in learning how to cope with the chaos in my life, was when I started learning about the honest brutal reality of addiction.
We sometimes forget that a lot of what we know now, was information that was not available to us 10, 20 ... or more years ago. There were a lot of misconceptions of what alcoholism was and how to deal with it. I can still remember my mother and other wives I knew, being blamed for their husband's drinking - "if she would only stop nagging, he probably wouldn't drink" . Nothing like kicking someone that is already struggling with total turmoil.
It never occurred to these "outsiders" that maybe why these women were so distressed to begin with was because of the drinking.
We have come a long way in understanding this baffling disorder ... and we have a long way to go. The more knowledge we have, the more power we have to make better choices. One good thing is that family members of alcoholics are now less likely to get the blame for something that is out of their control. Maybe someday we will get better support and understanding from others ... just like we do here!!