(((wtbh)))
I try to look ahead and not at the past and be in the moment for my kids, but it doesn't work all the time.
For a long time when I felt so overwhelmed with this disease I lashed out at AH and told him to leave. Went back to work and changed our lives dramatically.
What was missing was me being the mom that is there for my kids. My wake up call - my 10 yr old DS wrote a mother's day poem and in it he referred to my eyes as blue - well, hello my eyes are not blue but my 17 year old daughter's are. He shrugged his shoulders and said he didn't know what color my eyes were.
I took it personally and felt I wasn't being there enough for my son and smiling at him so he could look in my eyes and see what color they were. I've moved on from that day and try to do my best to be there for him. It doesn't always work but I'm getting better.