This IS the hardest part. I also think the gratitude list is a great way to give ourselves an "attitude adjustment."
Two things that I already see for that list are:
1) You do have enough to cover all of these expenses...due to your efforts and being responsible.
2) Pretty soon you will no longer have to carry the extra weight and listen to his blaming you. HE will be responsible for HIS entire life.
Hope you feel better soon. Your kids are blessed to have such a grounded, caring mom.