I understand where you both are coming from. You seem to want reassurances he cannot possibly give you--hence, you are both frustrated and upset.
You thought through the idea of leaving, you didn't do it on a whim.
It sounds to me as if you are not ready to divorce him, but that you need some space to sort through your own feelings and do your own recovery work. That's perfectly legitimate. It is also something that he legitimately won't like.
The only thing that will make him happy is for you to cancel your plans to move out and stay with him. Is that what YOU want? Seems like the answer is no, since you have been making plans to leave.
Only you can decide, but it seems to me that you made your decision, and the fact that he doesn't like it should not be the controlling factor. You could tell him, honestly, that you are feeling some of the same confusion he is, and that the only way for you to figure it out is to take some time away from him. Separation can bring a lot of clarity to a situation.
Good luck, pray on it.