Honest truth: I get down on my knees and thank God I met my XABF and endured an abusive relationship with him. It was a hard lesson to learn, yes, but a very excellent one. God is very fair and gives us exactly what we need in life in order to grow up and be the very best people we can be. For me, before I met my XABF I had no self worth at all (obviously if I liked myself, I would not have stayed). I hated myself. I wallowed in how useless, stupid and undesirable I was.
By being belittled, abused and beat down to my core, I found myself. I finally said to hell with this business with being abused and being made to feel lower than an animal. God gave me exactly what I needed to learn to like myself. He said, "Ok you hate yourself and you don't appreciate your life, well I'm going to show you what hurt really is". And boy did he. God led me to someone that hurt me so bad, that it actually made me value my life for the first time ever. And low and behold, I love myself now and not a thing will ever change that. I will die a self-confident, lovable, amazing person. Not an insecure, self-hating person. I doubt I ever would have came to this realization if it hadn't been for that little blessing in disguise that was my XABF.
I believe, God leads us to pain because he wants us to learn something. I don't look at meeting an A as a bad thing, its God's way of teaching us something great if we really take the time to look. Every single one of us that enter into an Alcoholic's life is for a purpose. If we open our eyes and really look past the pain, what lesson have you learned? I bet its a life-changing one huh? God is very fair in the lessons he teaches us. Most relationships don't last, they are purely to teach us something about ourselves.
If you find yourself staying with an A, you are not done learning your lessons yet. The pain ends when you finally understand the reason your pain started in the first place.
We are given exactly what we need. Always.