I think regrowth comes on slowly. For me, I had alot of issues to overcome, issues brought on by living with an addict. The daily abuse took away my self-esteem, I was a passenger in my own car, riding in the back seat, always looking in the rear view mirror.
Then I got mad, I was done and that was my pivital point, that was my rebirth. I jumped in the front seat of my car and drove, and I no longer look in the rear view mirror. I now look forward, not back.
What was, was, it cannot be recreated, people change, relationships change. Nothing in life remains constant, it either gets better or worse.
He abandoned you long ago, it is just a matter of your acceptance of the situation, until you reach the point of acceptance you will be stuck in the past.
Be kind to yourself, embrace your new life, try not to dwell on the past, it really serves no purpose.