Originally Posted by
skippernlilg 
The thing about alcoholism is that it is truly a family disease. If he has it, you have the affects of it. You get the symptoms of feeling tired, worthless, tired, and more tired. Not unlike a cancer patient, only this is something you are choosing to 'catch' by marrying into it.
You're not just marrying the man, you're marrying the disease.
I'm an ACoA, which is an Adult Child of an Alcoholic. I was a planned child in an alcoholic family. I had no choice but to live in that family. It is a paralyzing place to be as a child. There are after-effects of this that are difficult to heal from. I'm still healing, after years and years of therapy and now getting out of a bad relationship situation myself.
Are you two planning to have children?
this post brought tears to my eyes. There are more of us here who came up through this kind of childhood than anyone might, at first, think.
I would never wish that on any child at any time. It is a big reason behind my not having children; I wanted to make sure they didn't get any subconscious monstrosity that I might deliver, despite my best intentions.
I looked at my mother and saw what came through her;
I looked at HER mother and saw what came through HER;
I heard stories about my mother's mother's mother;
I stood my ground to say, "The buck stops here. I will not have children until I am 100 percent positive that I will NEVER pass on this poison legacy!"