Tuffgirl

I am wondering if this is a big part of what I have tried to describe in this thread. I may not have communicated it very well initially. This isn't ME worrying about OTHERS' behaviors...this is me wondering how to deal with behaviors that are difficult for me to understand, which makes acceptance challenging.

Being in control of one's life. Having the mindset that most things happen because of me, not to me. Being an initiator, not a reactor. I look at these people as reactors...they don't initiate much. But they don't acknowledge they don't do that - they blame me if I have a problem with their behavior. That's the crux. I am held responsible although they didn't follow through. It's baffling to me. My colleague genuinely believes she is being left out on purpose of my work and isn't allowed to do her role. Yet, she has repeatedly and habitually not followed through or done some half-assed attempt and left me hanging. My sister genuinely believes I am cruel to her, because I don't agree with her delusions and life choices. My RAH genuinely believes I left him unexpectedly and without merit, with no acknowledgement of his role or the fact that I warned him all along that if something didn't change, I was leaving. I even spelled out the issues I was having, on paper, with bullet points.

These people don't DO anything. They allow life to happen to them, react to it, complain about it, blame others for it, and never do anything themselves to change the trajectory.

I am not sure I can have relationships with these kinds of people. Today that makes me kinda sad.

P.S. my RAH doesn't really count...he's an alcoholic...this is normal and expected for someone who has lived his life. But others'? Its like Stella describes...I am beginning to wonder if I see the world differently as well...and the people who don't share my mindset are floating to the top, maybe needing to be skimmed off and set aside?!