Old 06-14-2011, 09:06 AM
  # 21 (permalink)  
Seeking Wisdom
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Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: state of confusion
Posts: 351
The truth be told, a large percentage of people stay in marriages due to fear of being unable to make it on their own and starting over. However, the reality is that it is so much tougher to leave once you have children with an alcoholic.

I spent most of my life first being the daughter of an alcoholic and then married to someone that eventually became an alcoholic while skillfully keeping proof his addiction a secret for many miserable years. Both were a nightmarish roller coaster existance I wouldn’t wish on anyone.

From my experience, once someone is married, has children and perhaps own joint property together, and have their finances entangled, it becomes so much more complicated to move on with your life and leave this toxic alcoholic enviroment behind. Once you have children together ... even if with a divorce, many remain trapped in this unhealthy relationship due to custody arrangements with someone unstable and undependable. There will likely be never ending guilt over your precious children being exposed to the insanity of addiction and endless worry over their long term physical and emotional well being due to custody arrangements. And if the addiction progesses, as it often does, you will likely also lose the financial support needed to help raise your children and keep them in safe neighborhoods with decent schools. This is the sad unfortunate outcome for many trying to parent children with someone addicted to alcohol or drugs.

In a perfect world, we would all love to give our children a stable and loving home with two healthy, happy supportive parents ... unfortunately a situation most unlikely when one parent is an alcoholic. If your wish is to have children and give them the best life you can ... please consider the reality of their future with an alcoholic parent.
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