Sunshine,
You took a courageous step in posting. I suspect you've been reading posts for some time before you took the step forward to finally post. I know I did. Ok, that was one step forward.
Keep finding yourself taking one step forward, and you'll find yourself to Peace and Happiness.
My exABF lived with me for years and helped me raise my son. I always wanted a child and a family. exABF was not abusive either. As his alcoholism progressed, though, the negative thoughts and words bled into my positive life, and my son's. I realized my son was starting to learn very negative behaviors. I could not raise an innocent child in a house with this treacherous disease.
I want you to know that one of my friends who is 45 years old, just gave natural birth to a beautiful, healthy baby boy last week. Your bio-clock can still be ticking.
