Sunshine,
My exah was what someone would probably describe as a 'high functioning' alcoholic.
He always drank at home. He had this ritual where he would clean the house and cook while drinking. He was always very affectionate and funny. It bothered me that he drank so much but I loved him and had a child with him.
I didn't understand that alcoholism is progressive. I didn't know what that meant.
Now I do.
For my exah, he started drinking earlier and earlier in the day.
He became very paranoid.
I couldn't stand to be near him when he drank.
We became more and more distant.
My exah has been in a pschiatric ward twice because of psychotic episodes. The doctor's could never say what caused the episodes. I believe it was the drinking because as soon as my exah 'dried out' the hallucinations went away.
My exah is just a shell of the man he used to be now.
Its really very sad.
I stopped being in a relationship with him years ago although I stuck around out of a false sense of obligation and duty.
My son considers himself fatherless.
It's heartbreaking.
Maybe you could do a little research about the progressive nature of this disease? I wish I had. I wish I had been better educated about where things were headed. I could have saved myself and my son alot of heartache and suffering.
I wish you the best...