"He has not been violent"
Dear Luna he is already being violent towards you. Degrading you is violence.
So you are about to tie the knot with an alcoholic AND an abuser? here in SR I have learned an abusive man is an abusive man, drunk or not, alcoholic or not. IF on top of that he is an addict...
My dad's wife is an ACOA. Her mom was abused by the alcoholic dad in so many horrible ways she ended up in a crazy ward. My dad's wife does not know if she is dead or alive at this point. She doesn't want to know. The alcoholic dad died and not a tear was shed. My dad's wife, and her brother, left their home at 15/17 and never called back.
You are willingly walking towards a similar or worse hell.
From
Am I Being Abused? « National Domestic Violence Hotline
Am I Being Abused?
How is your relationship?
Does your partner:
Embarrass you with put-downs?
Look at you or act in ways that scare you?
Control what you do, who you see or talk to or where you go?
Stop you from seeing your friends or family members?
Take your money or Social Security check, make you ask for money or refuse to give you money?
Make all of the decisions?
Tell you that you’re a bad parent or threaten to take away or hurt your children?
Prevent you from working or attending school?
Act like the abuse is no big deal, it’s your fault, or even deny doing it?
Destroy your property or threaten to kill your pets?
Intimidate you with guns, knives or other weapons?
Shove you, slap you, choke you, or hit you?
Force you to try and drop charges?
Threaten to commit suicide?
Threaten to kill you?
If you answered ‘yes’ to even one of these questions,
you may be in an abusive relationship.
For support and more information please call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) or at TTY 1-800-787-3224.