Originally Posted by
Dee74 
in the end it's what you believe that counts.
D
Exactly. We can gather opinions from close friends and well paid doctors. Won't really matter much.
A friend of mine was talking to me once after 'I' decided I had learned enough from AA and could drink again, while I was telling her how 'well' it was going being a casual drinker, and her response was very simple - 'but how do
you feel on the
inside?'
Back then, I didn't quite get that. I was still blocking the true me out with alcohol and trying my best to control it and create divergences to avoid it. Now I can absolutely understand what she meant by that one simple question. The thing is, no matter how sincerely or deeply she felt about 'her' sobriety, the only person that could make me want to feel good inside for me was me.
Congrats on day 9, you're doing good. All this questioning you're going through is normal, best advice I can offer you is while you're working on finding your own truth stay focused on your recovery. If you want a refund of your old life back, it'll still be there tomorrow, next week etc. but giving up your sobriety and getting it back tends to be a more difficult battle...