Thread: Day 9
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Old 06-13-2011, 03:17 PM
  # 8 (permalink)  
Pigtails
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Join Date: Jun 2011
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Okay. Thanks everyone. The thing for work went pretty well and then I was talking to a colleague I ran into... he is older than me and in my same profession and he was basically saying the world is my oyster. That being young (at 30 I don't feel "young" but this is compared to his 48) and single and not having any mouths to feed (he has a 9 year old daughter) means I can live anywhere and do anything I want... he was encouraging me to look into moving back East where I'm from and I've been thinking about it but it seems like a daunting task... he says this is the time to do it. Anyway it cheered me up to realize I really can make anything out of my life that I want. I almost married the wrong person for me and I'm so glad I didn't, I handled a lot of things badly with alcohol and dishonesty and other bad coping methods but at least I got out and I am free to do whatever I want, I just have to figure out what that is and apply myself. (My ex is a good person and we have a good friendship now so I'm not trying to slight him- just saying I almost married him which would have been a disaster because we are not right for each other).

I don't know if this is a "good" or "bad" time to address my alcohol issues (I guess there's never a bad time right :-/) because I was in the middle of assessing my whole life and making some positive changes and trying to figure out what I really wanted to do and go for it. Right now I just want to be happy with my own life in the here and now while exploring my options and then eventually put a plan into place and execute it. It feels overwhelming to do be doing this and not drinking, which I'm so used to... but then again perhaps I can never have the life I want (whatever that is...) if I don't address the drinking issue.

Wow I'm all over the place, sorry to ramble. Sometimes I seriously wonder if I'm bipolar or something. I feel down down down and then up up up. Right now I feel up and that's a good thing but boy do I not want to crash again. :-/

Dee I like what you said about taking it one day at a time and not looking too far into the future... that's really what has been getting me through all these days not drinking. I just have to remember to stay focused on that.
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