Hey pigtails!!! Happy Day 9 to US!
Good job on the weekend. My weekend went pretty well too - I didn't really have too much of an urge to drink - but my husband was here and that makes it easier since I always had to control it when he was around. Now, he is gone again for the week. The day has been fine but for some reason I feel a bit of anxiety regarding the week ahead.
I'm sorry you aren't feeling well today - but hey, it's a Monday. Lots of mondays go like this. Probably more of them being hungover - but a Monday is a Monday...
Sometimes it creeps back into my head too - maybe I'm ok, maybe I can just drink on the weekends with my husband around and not drink when he is gone. And then I do know that I am fooling myself. When I was getting hammered all by myself all day and night I was obsessing about my drinking while I had a drink in my hand. I was nervous about my health and taking another drink. I don't think clearly with that stuff in my system. If I'm not getting drunk, there is really no point for me to drink (that's my thought process).
I wish I was "normal" too - but I'm not. I can't just have 1 drink. I can't switch to water after I've had a few too many. I can't have a half bottle of anything in the house without being tempted and ultimately giving in at any time of day and drinking it. I just can't. That's the way it goes, I guess. If I could be normal I wouldn't be worried about how much damage I have done to my liver already.
I'm here with ya. I hope your meeting goes well. Stay strong and try not to worry so much about what you are - and live in the moment and embrace how good you feel. (I'm trying to do the same thing!) GO DAY 9!