Non-abusive alcoholic and fears about being on own
Hi everyone,
I am new here. Been to a few alanon meetings that were really helpful. But many of the stories I hear of alcoholic spouses include verbal abuse, and my partner doesn't exhibit that behavior.. Is kind, gentle and at worst full of despair and very depressed/self pity. I have stuck it out for 1 year + but he is in a terrible cycle of sober of few days then relapse a couple weeks over and over. He drinks everynight, 8-10 beers a night. Its all very non dramatic. I have/am seriously considering leaving, mainly because it is so hard to watch and very very lonely.
I guess I am wondering if anyone else lived with a kind functioning alcoholic and left anyway? I have tremendous fears about leaving also, because I am 36 and the dream of having kids and a family seems to be less a possibility given my age and the thought of starting over seems unbearable. But do does staying. He has kids already and they adore him. Frustrated with my self in never taking action to leave ( out of fear i suppose) but looking and thinking about it a lot. It is terrible/shameful to realize I may be selfishly staying because I am afraid of being alone and starting over. But I think it may be true. How have people taking the leap of faith and trusted that they will be ok given terrible fears? Seems impossible.