I understand the validation thing.
For awhile I would check for his car in the parking lot, and talk to the people who knew the both of us to try and absorb all I could about what he was doing.
Then I kept some physical things around, like his notes he'd write to me. "Make bed." "Do laundry." "Vacuum." "Clean refrigerator." He'd never do that himself, he'd "help" by telling me what he decided I needed to do. Those reminders helped.
Then I moved on to those unhealthy songs on the radio, that reminded me of what I lived with. You know the ones... That "I Love the Way You Lie" one is big with me because remove the physical details and add alcoholism to the mix and that was my "relationship" with XABF exactly.
Now I'm working my way off that, too. But it's a process.
I think whatever it takes to remind us when we need reminders that we're not going back, then it's a good thing.
Just don't hold on too long. When you don't need the reminder anymore, get rid of it. When climbing the ladder of recovery, there comes a time when the rung that was above us is now below us, and so something that was healthy progress before will now only drag us backwards.
As long as we recognize when that time arrives, and react accordingly, then we're good.
