(((Jenny))) - I had a lot of shame about the things I did when I was using. Some I can't undo - lost my nursing career and am working at McDonald's. I had over $4,000 in tickets I got while out on crack, and it took me almost 3 years to be ready to face the judge with the $1000 I'd managed to save, was going to ask for a payment plan. After talking to me, asking me about my recovery, he dismissed the other $3000.
Some people I'd like to make amends to are gone, some are not healthy for me to be around. What I do is make "living amends"...I do my very best, every day, and I don't DO the things I used to. I drop what little money I have on me when the Shriner's are out (fantastic organization, BTW), the Salvation Army buckets at Christmas time, and I come here...offering my ES&H....giving back what was given to me. There's an organization, here, that takes donations for a treatment facility...I give them a couple dollars.
I can never undo what I did, yet each day I make healthier and better decisions, I've regained the trust of everyone I know, and I go to sleep, each night, knowing that I didn't do anything THAT day that I have to worry about consequences later coming and biting me in the a$$.
I'm glad you're getting a sponsor..that will help a lot. Reading/posting here has helped me, tremendously.
Hugs and prayers,
Amy