Originally Posted by BeYourself

Hi Lunakim, I found myself in a similar situation last September a few weeks before my wedding. There were red flags all over the place, but I loved him, we already lived together, so much was already paid for, and I just didn't have the guts to call it off even though my inner voice was screaming "stop!"

Things only went downhill after the wedding and I had moved out by our 6 month anniversary. Now I'm getting a divorce. He continues to deteriorate.

Listen to your gut, is all I can say. I wish I did. Things will only go in one direction (worse) until he decides he wants to make a change. And you'll come to realize that there's nothing you can do or say to make him hit that point. It's "let go or be dragged."

If you go thru with the wedding, please hedge your bets for a while. Make sure you are the one managing the money. Don't combine finances any more than you already have. Make sure you have some savings tucked aside that he can't get to. Don't buy real estate if you haven't already. Don't get pregnant.

Please talk to someone you trust in real life about what's going on. You'll feel much more empowered to do the right thing for yourself once the secrecy is gone.