btw, he may not be violent now... yes, that's how it starts.
mine started with "o he doesn't berate me--he doesn't speak ill of me" (he just does of other people)
then he began calling me names, twisting stuff around to blame me... always siding with his drinking buddies... started seeing me as the enemy to his "fun"... and i was like "o, but he would never hit me" (but he'd definitely fight other people)
then he started punching holes in my walls and destroying personal property and i kept saying "o, but he'd never hit me"...
and my last kicker before i left his ass was that he THREATENED to "beat the crap out of me"... he and i weren't in the same household that night, and i am not sure if he'd have done so if we were, but i'd rather not know.
yes, this guy is the NiCEST most quiet guy on the street... he'd help old ladies cross the street, get kittens down from trees, and bend over backwards if you needed help in any way... he'd call if he was running five minutes late... etc etc (part of why i totally fell for him)... but that's the thing with alcohol... THIS GUY... is no longer existent.
it's PROGRESSIVE... it's UNFAIR... it's SAD... it's the most horrible thing because the person you're marrying.. the person you are in love with will TRULY be erased. alcohol deteriorates your brain--it eats you alive. you no longer become who you are--and there will come a point where he won't even remember half the things that brought you two together.
im sorry. be careful.