Welcome back to the place-you-hoped-you-wouldn't-have-to-come-back-to.
I lurked on this site for YEARS before finally joining last November. I can vouch for the fact that it doesn't get any better, unfortunately.
I've been through so many ups-and-downs and broken promises...it was only recently that I finally got it. I lived on the roller coaster of hope and disappointment, fear and relief. My life hasn't followed the course I imagined it would, and I still feel a sense of loss and betrayal.
It's a progressive disease, no doubt about it.
The fundamental reality we must accept is that we have no control over anyone's life but our own.