Haven't Been Able to Go Back to Al-Anon
The last time I went to an Al-Anon meeting (and it was maybe only my 8th time or so...with months in between meetings), one of it's regular members, and the sponsor of many in attendance, had just committed suicide the night before.
It was the first time I had gone to this particular meeting place, so I had never met the individual.
The meeting was the most depressing, saddest things I have ever experienced, and I haven't been able to go back since. That was probably about 8 months ago.
The entire time was spent discussing the struggles she had gone through, and people's memories and perceptions of her.
I understood their need to talk about her; truly I did.
But people were in tears the entire time, and I just left there so depressed - as it brought home just how devastating this disease can be and the effect it can have on those who love the A. in their lives.
I think it just scared me...I don't want to open myself up and become vulnerable to more heartache.
I haven't been back since.