Photuris, So very sorry to hear your story. Telling lies are just a part of an alcoholics everyday reality. I do still wonder if the lies for themself or others? I am just as much confused about these things as you are. It's only been days since I stopped all contact with my A friend. Perhaps you already suspected your AH was drinking in Vegas, you just needed confirmation. After living with an A. they suck you in, they try to lessen your sense of reasoning and rationale. Somedays I felt so out of control, watching someone destroy their life, left me with a powerless feeling over my own life. Validation is something we all strive for, to be acknowledged for our good acts, that our live has meaning, and purpose. You are holding it together, stay strong, do something nice for yourself today, and remember just breathe................ good luck to you