Welcome to the pity party
I have a big problem. And it goes by the name of jealousy. Jealousy not of others' riches or materialistic items, but of their happiness.
Earlier I stumbled across a picture of one of my best friends. In it was my friend, her mother, her sister, and their corresponding fiance and boyfriend. The six of them were just sitting next to each other, in their pajamas, laughing, talking, and playing a game (I'm assuming her dad took the picture and was there as well).
It hit me really hard. I always yearned for a sibling, I don't have one. I yearned for a good (even just tolerable) relationship with my mother, I don't have that, not even close. I yearn for my father, he passed away when I was 19. I yearn for a rock of support in my life, XABF cheated on me and left me overnight basically.
Why it is so hard to be happy? And to just have a stable and content life? That is something that every SINGLE one of us deserves but all we keep getting is this stupid crap! I know everyone has their own set of problems to deal with (whether others see them or not), including the friend in the seemingly fairytale picture.
I just feel like I'm never going to have that type of happiness. And trying to continually convince myself to be happy everyday and enjoy the little things feels like such an uphill battle...