?? after visit with counselor...
I met with my counselor for the 2nd time yesterday and it was absolutely amazing!! I tried not to focus on my AH, but on myself, though we began by talking about him a little bit and I was amazed by what the counselor "knew" without me saying anything. It was very reassuring in a strange way...validating. Anyway, we switched over about halfway thru talking about me and how I got to this place, and what I am doing for me. All in all, it was really great. However, this is what I started thinking on my way home...and of course I don't see my counselor again for a month. My counselor, based on what I have said about my stbxah behavior, stated that he had probablly been abused in his past in some way, knowing his parents were both alcholics makes me think he is probablly right. Anyhow, here is where the codie in me comes out......I feel like I should help him, not run away...even though EVERYTHING in me knows better. Why can't I just leave him to figure it out, why that incessant need to help, and to even feel a bit quilty about seperating - afterall he is absolutely HORRIBLE to me!! Thoughts please.....help me understand - and I know that his past in NO WAY justifies the way he treats me, but I NEED some perspective!!