Originally Posted by
wanttobehealthy 
AH put on a show of calling his brother and reaming him out and I got lulled for a second into thinking he was setting boundaries with his family about what is and is not acceptable.
It's your beliefs that are hurting you.
Even after continued actions that proved otherwise, I continued to believe that my AH was a husband, partner and friend. I believed that he was someone I could turn to when I needed protection. I believed all these things because that is what I believed a husband should be. I was not wrong to believe that is the
role of a husband.
For me, it was all wrapped up in the acceptance and letting go part. I had a hard time accepting that I chose someone for the role of husband in my life who did not meet those expectations. I had a hard time letting go of the expectations of the
role as opposed to the
person. I kept believing he would somehow come to his senses and start fulfilling the role. I set myself up for hurt and disappointment over and over again.
I couldn't let go until I separated
him from the
role I had cast him in. After that, I stopped touching the hot stove.
L