Originally Posted by
forgotten1 
my thoughts on "tough love" is that i go to my long-time friends for that... the friends that haven't lived in the world we've all lived in--the ones with an outside perspective. with them, i expect a non-judgmental judgment precisely because they are giving me objective opinions.
i come to SR for not tough love but for compassion and understanding... for the subjective reality that we all shared... because after realizing that i cant just go to friends or family (since i dont know anyone that has dealth with alcoholism), i could come here among people that wouldnt judge my thought process and could understand the long journey it takes to deal with this particular kind of pain
I don't look at what other people post here as judgmental. Some are offering sympathy and support, others are offering experience and others strength or hope. Some are just venting.
When I read something here I look for how it helps my recovery. Sometimes it helps by pointing out that there is more than one way to do it. Sometimes it helps by giving me the opportunity to share. Sometimes it helps by letting me know that I am not alone in this. Sometimes it just doesn't help. When it doesn't help me I move on to another post.
Not all the posts are going to be useful, helpful or even interesting to you.
As someone said earlier think about this as an exercise in detachment.