Originally Posted by
passionfruit 
I attend alanon once a week at least and have for the last 5 months or so.
We never sit around talking about what our A's did to us today.
.
That's a beautiful thing!
I actively attempt to move the A's obnoxious behavior out of my thoughts and words every single day. I think words do have power, so it is an excellent practice to use those words in a more positive way.
It is nice, however, to have an outlet like here or in an Al-anon meeting where I can freely express my feelings if there is something bothering me. Sometimes it is the ABF who bothers me, so I like it that I can talk about that if I need to.
If I don't talk about it from time to time, I find myself 'stuffing' my feelings, and that's what got me to the sick point I've been.
But you're right, I'm designing my life to the level that ABF and his behavior is not a factor in any of my days.