Originally Posted by
hydrogirl 
Hi Passionfruit!
I remember when I first read your story. It seemed as though you knew exactly the full extent of your situation but had chosen to remain. It seemed like an alarming decision to make, IMHO, but it was yours to make.
So are you mad now because you kept going back and getting a knife stuck through your foot and didn't do anything about it until recently?
Are you mad that other people had the same attitude with you that you now have with others now (i.e. "Why don't you stop talking about it and get the h.e.double toothpicks out?").
Is it better that you KNEW you were being abused, KNEW what you needed to do to escape, and yet chose to remain for your own personal reasons?
Hugs and prayers, HG
Actually, when I came here I had just left my AH. I moved completely out of the house into my own place taking all my things with me.
I NEVER went back to live with him.
I spent the next 2.5 months giving him a behavior modification opportunity. I reinforced the positive behavior with staying and spending time with him. I responded to the negative by leaving everytime he was ugly.
I set my boundaries and stuck to them, even if when I didn't want to.
I felt that I had been more than fair by giving him those couple of months to attempt real change. He chose not to and I went no contact for the next 2.5
I did not break that until yesterday when I spoke to him about filing for divorce.
So I am not sure how you figure I kept going back and getting stabbed.
That simply was not the case.
I made a plan of action and saw it through.
.As far as knowing I was abused. That was not the case. I fought back tooth and nail only to lose those battles big time. Those incidents were all because I was not going to take the way he treated me. When he was out of line. I always called him on it.
He didn't take too kindly to that.
I do not see myself as a victim, much less abused.
why did I stay 2 years? I did everything within my power to make that marriage work. I succombed when I should have not. I tolerated more from him than I had from any man ever.
I have only been married 2x in my life.
once for 15 years. Then spent 12 years single. Turned down numerous men and many marriage proposals in that time. I never intended to marry 2x. I had vowed to God at a very young age to never marry twice, much less divorce 2x. so I had to do everything i could to make it work. I gave it my best shot. That was all I could do. When it became too much. I left. God will forgive me.
.Anyway the point is I made my choice and did not cry about it. period.