nodl5

it is day 8, so that means ONE WEEK SOBER! i had posted in my 'day 7' thread, my journal type threads will now go weekly. then hopefully monthly. but i don't want to get a head of myself.

day 7 proved to be the hardest yet, yet i felt better at moments than i have in a while. so i suppose that when i feel like i am going to vibrate slam out of my skin that in about about an hour to 90 minutes i'll feel right as rain again. this cycle happened several times yesterday. some to the point where i though i might go crazy.

yesterday i almost checked myself into the hospital. i mean 33 years of drinking and then BAM no booze. sort of tough here.

i am now reading Chapter 5, "How It Works" in the AA big book. i started with The Doctor's Opinion. It's short and revealed to me that people can in fact obtain sobriety through mental processes and shared experiences.

it is getting close to my noon AA meeting, my favorite, and i am sort of feeling like i did yesterday the good part, even though i have not felt tired yet. so i hope the day continues with this energy even though it is only a mild energy, but i am not dragging. i mean at some point i should feel better, one would think.

i'll post my next journal entry next week. i have enjoyed reading all feedback from the three daily ones i posted. i have also been commenting on other threads, but just a little, since i am so new.

i use this forum to share, to better understand my disease, to not feel so alone, for hope in recovery, since i see it has worked for others and yes i am selfish, so i can feel better about myself. because if i keep going around dragging past negative crap behind me, it am not going to get to the point that i can address what the hell it is that i am dragging around me.

my goal for next week's journal is to understand a 4 step and how to go about it.

thanks for letting me share.

--nodl5

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.