Originally Posted by
jamaicamecrazy 
But my last few encounters with him taught me something.
When he is drinking he loves the world and the world loves him- or so he thinks. We really are just barely tolerating him.
And when he is sober he is often overly sensitive, moody, irritable, defensive - and I am the enemy.
What kind of messed up relationship is that?
So, I don't like him when he's drinking and I don't like him when he's not drinking.
Sounds like a no brainer to me.
Thanks for posting this today, jamaica. I am in exactly the same place. To be rigorously honest here, I really don't like my husband at all. As a matter of fact, I think he is a complete jackass. And that makes me very sad. Because I believe being a jackass is as much a choice as being anything; happy, sad, mad, etc. We choose to be that. For some f'ed up reason that obviously I do not see - it works for him. It allows him to not be accountable for his own actions.
But it leaves me in the place I have been in for some time now - the change occurs within me. It makes me angry to have to accept that even 6 months sober, my husband is a total emotional ******. And I mean that in its literal sense. I've lost respect for him. For me - that's the relationship kiss of death.
So this weekend, I am wrapping up a dangling piece of business and going completely no contact. No texts, no calls, not even saying hello if passing in the street. His jackass-ness is wrecking my serenity. I wish him well - as far away from me as possible.
I believe in my HP and I know this is not what is laid out for me. This is not my path anymore. Now its up to me to get off of it.