Oh yes I get where you are at. I have been in this place for a long time only now the roller coaster is just going straight down and I don't see it heading up. I think where you are at it is perfectly okay to feel exactly what you feel. You are hopeful but yet you know there is a good chance the ride is not over with yet. Do you wait to see how it all plays out? That is only something you can determine. If you are young and don't have any kids I would be more inclined to tell you don't wait too long, but if you have time and kids invested in the relationship then giving it time maybe the best thing to do. Keep going to Alanon and focus on you. If you can stay healthy and in a good mental place it should surely make the ride less bumpy.